Many times, in the public school setting we hear about absentee only programs. But is that what we should look at as the standard for how we live our lifestyles? When I think of someone choosing abstinence I can come up with various reasons of why an individual may choose this route. A person may lack a mate, and therefore chooses to not have sex, it can be from "moral standards" instilled as a child, or fear of contracting a STD or HIV.
On that same note, abstinence stops at sex. Everything else is permissible. The kissing, hugging, touching, sucking, bumping and grinding, the porn to entice..basically everything with the exception of insertion in the vaginal area. ( I say that because some would consider themselves abstinent if they participate in oral sex). On the contrary, purity encompasses abstinence, but it is so much more complex. It starts with a relationship with God through his Son Jesus Christ. People will not understand the concept of purity without a relationship with His Son. In 1 Corinthians 2:14, it states that the natural man will not understanding the things that a spiritual man does. God does not only command Christians to be abstinent in action only, but to live pure lives. (2 Timothy 2:22)
Now what is the difference? Abstinence stops at sex, and purity starts with the thoughts. We know that if you sow a thought you reap your words. We know there is life and death in the power of the tongue, so our words become our actions, actions become our habits, which leads to our character and turns into our destiny. We should strive to keep our thoughts pure so we do not place ourselves in a compromising situation. (Phil 4:8) Purity comes through direction through His word, conviction and obedience. God's word says we are to wait until marriage to have sex. That is the command. We are not waiting because we do not have anyone, out of fear, or out of convenance...we are waiting to Honor our Father's command. Abstinence, or even celibacy as some would call it, can be conditional. It can change if you fall in love or if you get tired of waiting. When you're obedient to God, you must be pure no matter how you are feeling that day. So people may ask. Is abstinence for everyone? Absolutely. We know medically this is the best way to prevent circumstances such as a disease or pregnancy. We also know emotionally, you can save yourself from someone "breaking your heart." Symbolically you can see it as a piece of your heart torn and given to that person who you became sexually intimate with. So abstinence CAN be practiced by all people, religions, sexual orientations, etc. But purity is something that only a believer can truly understand and embrace.
Now the good news: You may be reading this and say...hmm I have been practicing a abstinent lifestyle and not a pure one. How can I start with my thoughts and not be in an uncompromising position trying to stop at sex. Well my Pastor at church told us their are 4 D's. Direction, Decision, Determination and Discipline. You have to be determined and disciplined. Watch who you hang around so you do not become like them. This does not mean shelter yourself from all those who aren't Christian but make sure there is a balance. The worst thing I think are people who create holy-huddles and never allow their light to shine and their salt to give flavor as God called us to do. (Matthew5:13) Make sure you are the leader in what is talked about in your non-Christian circle so they don't begin influencing you (1 Timothy 4:12)In addition, monitor closely what you watch and listen to. Much of our media (TV, movies, music, and magazines) are driven by sexual themes.
Lastly, we all understand that this is an area of life that may be difficult but understand that God is a forgiving God if you are to mess up. We have the promise of 1 John 1:9 that states "If you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleans us from all unrighteousness." By that promise you will be cleansed. But I encourage you to rely on Holy Spirit within you to keep you from falling. And when you do repent, ask God to help you in this area. Listen when wisdom cries out and be obedient to it (Proverbs 1). I guarantee you, if you surrender this area of your life to God, He will keep you. No matter what you already have done He is a God of restoration. Believe that. I encourage you to start today living a pure lifestyle.
amen...I will leave a deeper comment when I am fully awake, lol.
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with Tiffany. Purity does indeed begin with our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and it is certainly a matter of the heart. According to the book of Proverbs, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Ultimately, my purity begins with the ponderings of my heart. I believe that this topic touches on one of the half-truths of the enemy that would lead one to believe that abstinence and purity are synonymous.Wrong! As Tiffany has forthrightly stated, purity encompasses abstinence and never the inverse.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of application and practicality, it is important to understand that, as with all temptation to sin, sexual temptation is a battle for the heart. The Lord so desires to have a relationship with us that encompassess purity in every area of our lives- whether its our relationships (or lack thereof), finances, careers, etc. However, sin aims to work against the purity that the Lord desires for us (Galatians 6). As my mentor once told me, it is less effective to stare sin in the face and say "I won't yield to you" than it is to fall on your knees and say, "Lord I choose to love you!"
i agree with the heart of the post... i would slightly disagree with "abstinence" being for everyone. In this day and age, without God there is no reason and almost no way to stay abstinent or celibate (and i'm not even joking) even if you're ugly or retarded or whatever.
ReplyDeleteBut definitely purity... alot of people think that abstinence is simply not a penis in a vagina. will do everything else and still call themselves a virgin or abstinent. And it's primarily in the "church" where you see that nonsensical thinking.
And i must take issue with demetrius' comment from proverbs about "a man thinking in his heart". A heart does not think, your mind is where your thoughts reside and only there. Your heart houses your passions, energy, motivations, etc. I mean for instance King David people hold him in such high regard and even the bible says that he had such an amazing heart FOR GOD, but that didn't stop this dude from the idiocy he carried out. i believe its like another verse in the bible talks about renewing your mind through the cleansing of the word.
I mean don't get me wrong your heart is definitely important but your mind is where the battle is... when satan came to Adam and Eve he didn't attack their heart for God, he attacked their mind. Kind of like that verse I think in Isaiah, "my people perish for a lack of knowledge"